Posted by: dschadewald | November 25, 2008

Final Blog Post – Worst Math Jokes ever

In a dark, narrow alley, a function and a differential operator meet:

“Get out of my way – or I’ll differentiate you till you’re zero!”


”Try it – I’m ex…”


”Too bad… I’m d/dy.”

 

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? 


A: Pumpkin Pi!

 

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? 


A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!

 

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can’t…

 

Q: What is purple and commutative? 


A: An abelian grape…

 

Q: What is the first derivative of a cow? 


A: Prime Rib!

 

Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is extroverted? 


A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes instead of at his.

 

Q: What does the little mermaid wear? 


A: An algae-bra.

 

My life is all arithmetic”, the young businesswoman explains. “I try to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying…”

 

A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. 
The physicist: “A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment.” 
The mathematician: “A wife. You have security.” 
The computer scientist: “Both. When I’m not with my wife, she thinks I’m with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it’s vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me…”

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I like this version of Joke “10” better:

    There are only 10 kinds of people in the world.

    Those who understand binary – and those who have friends.

  2. I laughed out loud. Cheers!

  3. What’s an algorithm?
    A former presidential candidate beating the drum about global warming.

  4. What’s an algorithm?

    Thats funny!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: