Posted by: dschadewald | November 25, 2008

Final Blog Post – Worst Math Jokes ever

In a dark, narrow alley, a function and a differential operator meet:

“Get out of my way – or I’ll differentiate you till you’re zero!”

”Try it – I’m ex…”

”Too bad… I’m d/dy.”


Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? 

A: Pumpkin Pi!


Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? 

A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!


There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can’t…


Q: What is purple and commutative? 

A: An abelian grape…


Q: What is the first derivative of a cow? 

A: Prime Rib!


Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is extroverted? 

A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes instead of at his.


Q: What does the little mermaid wear? 

A: An algae-bra.


My life is all arithmetic”, the young businesswoman explains. “I try to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying…”


A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. 
The physicist: “A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment.” 
The mathematician: “A wife. You have security.” 
The computer scientist: “Both. When I’m not with my wife, she thinks I’m with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it’s vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me…”


  1. I like this version of Joke “10” better:

    There are only 10 kinds of people in the world.

    Those who understand binary – and those who have friends.

  2. I laughed out loud. Cheers!

  3. What’s an algorithm?
    A former presidential candidate beating the drum about global warming.

  4. What’s an algorithm?

    Thats funny!!

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